I wish I could adequately describe the week I just had. It was the sort of week I used to dream about when growing up. It began with an impromptu night-trip to a posh hotel lounge in Philly, and ended with salsa/merengue dancing in some hot NY night club at 2:30 in the morning. The in-between was filled with meeting fabulous people, drinking expensive Champagne, and tons and tons of art.
I always wanted to be an artist. Or, at the very least, live the artist life. It’s something I’ve romanticized since grade school. However, given the fact that I lack any actual talent with paint or clay or bronze or plaster, I ended up working for an artist, instead. Now I am completely immersed in this world that I’ve been longing to be a part of since I was a kid. It’s a bit glamorous, a bit gritty, and all parts fascinating. I have never been so inspired, nor have I ever been so encouraged to break out on my own and go into full-on creative mode. I’m in a position where I’m given a TON of responsibility– so there is a lot of pressure to step up to the plate. But I thrive on that. I need the push and challenge to get me really thinking and making things happen. And I work with a group of such talented and passionate individuals. This was really one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life, thus far.
So, this is just a little update on my “Start Over Year.” I am taking those risks that I need to take and trying those things that I need to try. I am learning, albeit very slowly, to break out of my shell. One would think that being a part of the art world would pressure you into fitting a mold you’re not. I find the exact opposite. This job is helping me create the mold I was meant to fit. I’m learning to take charge, to stop apologizing. To stop allowing other people to overtake my spotlight. I am learning to celebrate my strength as a woman, and all the power that comes with that. Just the other day, my boss said to me after catching me nervously fidgeting with my new dress for the 1,000th time: ” You are a beautiful woman, own it.” That simple sentence empowered me more than 1,000 pages of self-help nonsense. So, it’s month #2 of My Start Over Year, and I am owning it.
Hope the rest of you are having similar success in making changes in your life, for the better.
You go girl!
Sounds great, don’t let the pressure eat you up, that’s what kills the most lovely jobs… Me, I’ve always wanted to be an artist, too, even though I’m not quite sure of what it implies… But I’ll just keep drawing, even if my living doesn’t come from it.
Own it! Love that expression… can’t think of an Spanish equivalent, so I might as well steal the original ;)
It’s a sad fact, but I think most people sorta settle into a lifestyle for which they have absolutely no passion in, mostly out of convenience and safety. Later on they turn 40 or 50 and start buying Mustangs and Tiffanys to try and make up for all the regrets. Cheers for seeking fulfillment, taking risks, and most of all, for being yourself without any apologies.
PS – When you get the chance, check out this Buddy Wakefield video I just posted. It’s definitely applicable to your “Start Over Year” as well as to so many people our age right now.
Your job sounds fabulous and I think it’s so awesome that you are taking control of your life! Keep on owning it.
You know, I often tell Scott of FIWK that same thing: “You are a beautiful woman, own it.” He, uh, he doesn’t take it as well as you did.
Anyway that sounds awesome. I can’t say it any better than Beluka with “you go girl!”, so ditto. What kind of stuff have you been doing in your job lately, can you say? What kind of feedback have coworkers/clients/acquaintances been giving? Have they noticed the big positive change in your demeanor?
Royce – have you considered my lack of a ‘positive response’ may be due more to the complimenter than the compliment itself? :D
Pingback: In Which My Adult Self Finally Tells My 15 Year-Old Self to Get A Life « Drunk Literature